Fellas only? should i get my hopes up?

I have strategically ruined my life. I met the man of my dreams and he was very into me and i pushed him away because of my past hurt and family problems. when he couldn't take it anymore i acting like a total psycho bombarding him with text messages. he never knew that i lost two close family members within 6 weeks right after we broke up and that's why i flipped. it's been a month and i'd like to reach out, but i know he won't take my calls, and any email will come accross psycho. we have mutal friends who told me he doesn't have another serious girl and i know where he hangs out. i'm thinking of trying to run into him and try to talk to him. i liked him so much, and i know he liked me at first and tried to be patient. but all my friends say once a guy decided he doesn't want you anymore, he doesn't. do i have any hope? i'm not conceited, but i'm not very ugly, and he was really crazy for me at first so i wonder if he sees me looking good it might make him want me again?