Should i kill myself?

i got arrest months ago and so i was put on probation for 6 months. i violated it and i have court monday. they might give me a record and not clear it since i violated probation. im so scared because i was immature months ago but now im more mature and have a job and everything is getting so messed up because of one drug test being dirty (for marijuana) im hysterically crying and i do want to kill myself. i have no power and the law has power over me and i cant breath and i cant take it. i have no one to comfort me nothing. im alone and miserable and really am thinking about killing myself